letting go
by burntblood.1982
Summary: Jasper feeds from a girl and she turns her human life was tragic and her vampire life could be pragmatic, will she turn dark or will she walk towards the light.


Disclaimer: twilight belongs to S.W only not Jade some upsetting parts some based on my own experiences.

Please enjoy don't read if under 18 review if you want to this has not been beta am still looking if you have any ideas or nick the story and make it yours.

I am also from London so bare with me regarding usa weather. Etc (after breaking dawn)

No pairings yet.

This is jades story

Start.

Jade Dawn William's was a foster care child she was from new Orleans Cajun she been taken from some fucked up shit and put into the system. She had stay with one family a year and they were in the process of adopting her and the women got knocked up and wanted her gone I was eleven, and it was that night in my new home that I learnt the best life lesson, you're on your own no one will ever care about you so you better care about yourself most people will either use you or step on to get something better. That night was the start of when the fuckery began and never stop I thought it would have been better at my 'rents was that night that the foster system let another kid down, I was not safe and I could not fight of his attack. I was useless why the pig used my body silent tears escape me and the hard nose bitch that I am today was born. I started self-defence classes and judo etc but I could never use it against the men that came in my room, I used to freeze, when I told, I got moved and more allowance, I learnt that family was a bother and made sure I move every four months I hated to form attachments with anyone I was a wallflower my favourite book the perks of being a wallflower,

Was like a bible to me I never believed in god or the devil and I believed that when you're dead your dead so live your life if you can. I was jaded I was named correctly then. The shit I have been though was enough to get me screaming in my bedroom nowhere was safe I loss myself and never looked back. When I was eighteen I had to run away and I did my past held horrors that no average Joe would be able to help me with, being normal was overrated being fucked up is better you don't know where it will take you it can be a great adventure, you show that no one should fuck with you. I had been raped, loss three babies all three were my rapist and wanted to die I lived on Jack Daniels, fags, and drugs with a hamburger and fruit salad and water, I picked pockets and lived out of my rucksack, three urns were in there clothes and toiletries. Some money, my ipod and a couple of photos I was safe without anyone around. I never let my guard up but I could give myself the feeling of safety.

I was an empty shell I got in to a couple of fights and cried once or twice regarding my babies. Life had no meaning anymore and I moved deeper into the forest. found a stream and sat on a stone close to it she took care of her needs and changed her clothes bushed her teeth and eat a burger drunk some water and started to build a joint. She then lit it taking it in she got of the stone and relax close to the tree closing her eyes and listening to her I pod it was times like this that made her feel good and clean and without regret.

She was eighteen she was 5'7 had green eyes and light blonde hair and she was breath takingly beautiful she had it Marylyn Monroe had it and Jade Williams had it. Take the most beautiful girl you had ever seen and times it by a thousand and you would be nowhere near as close to her beauty. But she never cared it had been about ten days since she gone off the grid and her social worker should know that there be no police now thank fuck, there is beauty in silence that one can get if one is alone. She was at the moment looking for a final resting place beautiful, peaceful and would not be found.

It's not every day an eighteen year old wants death and the life she had led had taken her to this mind set.

She laid out then and listens to her songs.

Jasper and the rest of the household were going hunting and it was an adventure on its own as was ten people going hunting, recently Alice was losing visions, and it was effecting her so Carlise had suggest hunting and a bit of fun to help and the others had agreed.

They had spilt up a little so not to poach each other's kill. So jasper was running until he smelt it a heartbeat was pumping slowly and her smell was making his smell go crazy, he turned to the smell and followed. He was focus on the hunt and got to the clearing and saw the human, as he reached for her eyes opened she looked at him and a little smile appeared on her face. Jasper got her and took her hair away from her neck, and licked her neck and bite down and drunk deep and instead of feeling fear and helplessness he felt acceptance, joy and peace, it was his best dinner ever. And as he started to lay her down he heard her say thank you.

Just then Emmett and Alice come into the clearing and Emmett took jasper down Jade was taken away from him all the cullens then come into the clearing behind each other while emmet held jasper back.

Jade was laying down breathing heavily and was moving away closer to her bag and curling around it, and then just before darkness took her she said something that all the cullens' heard "thank you' with a smile on her face she was still. All the cullen's were shocked and still "what the fuck" said Emmett as he saw the girl just laying there.

"What the fuck indeed" said Jacob

Then they heard it her heart was beating and she was changing Carlisle went over to her and pick her up I think we should get her to the house.

Pick up her stuff and we should go Carlisle tried to take her bag but she would not realise it he left it and got her back to the house.

She never made a noise and seemed to have a slight smile on her face, but when esme and Alice come in to wash her. She done something no one had ever seen she opened her eyes and said to them to go away. And fell back on to the bed. The others had been shocked, and had left her on her own, after that fuckery.

After a three days she woke up her heart had stopped, jasper and Edward and Alice and Carlisle went upstairs and she was just there still cuddled up to her rucksack. And had not moved at all.

After a half hour she moved to sit up and looked around seeing them she said her first word she was filthy and grimy

"Hey Chief where the Cahoin (bathroom)" she said to Calisle he could not say any think just point taking her rucksack she went in to the bathroom.

She turned the shower on she felt different and needed to be slow and got her music out something with a beat what come on was lick my neck by Khia she sang along in the shower. Washing her hair and body. Drying herself pulling on underwear slowly though and a pair of leather trousers and put on a black top and took out her trench coat and looked in the mirror and looked at herself she was pretty and her eyes were crimson red she did not feel nothing she put some eyeliner on and lip gloss and put her old stuff back in her bag and bursh her hair and left in hanging down her back with a few bangs at the front. She opened the door, and she stopped. In front of her were 10 lovely looking people.

"whats up Cher! Chief!"

She then walked over to the bed and put her bag down and put her hand down the back of it and pulled her hand back and she had a bottle of J.D and she undid the top and took a deep breath and drunk it down and looked at them. Taking a fag out of bag and lit it with a lighter she breathed in and blew out the smoke,

Jasper and the others were in shocked she had not got weird she was calm and fuck me had a shower got changed drunk some drink and smoked and god dam was she sexy. Was going through all there head, rose had nothing on her. Jasper was not having this and started the questions and debriefing

" whats your name darling"

" J.D ! whats yours Chief!Cher!?"

I 'm your sire Jasper, this is my mate Alice this is Edward and bella, this is esme and carilse this is rose and Emmett, and this is Nessie and jake.

"Yow whats up" said jade smoking her ciggette

" so what am I know?

" your vampire " said Jasper

She looked at him and then she just laugh and laughed wiping the imaging tears away from her eyes yeah pull the other one stop lying and tell the fucking truth.

What she thinking Edward I 've had enough of this it is not normal to be this calm" said jasper

Nothing i cant read her said Edward

Alice tries to get her future

Nothing jazz

And I can't feel her emotions

Fuck this is all we needed.

Carlise was deep in thought she negates all our gifts.

Fuck said Jasper

"Nuff" said J.D

What the fuck going on getting up they told a look at her and froze she was sexy on legs she was beautiful everyone just wanted to get on their knees and worship this goddess she walked towards them bag on her back she walked pass fast and was downstairs and was tackled from behind by jasper you can't leave yet j.d you need to learn the rules the others were all waiting for her to speak.

For fuck sack did your mummy tell you can't handle girls that way, everyone just laughed!

Fine tell me the rules and then I will go. she walked to the settee and put her bag in front her there was a coffee table in front she started building a joint and put her feet on the table lit the joint and smoked it they just looked at her she got her I pod and put it on low it was my chick bad by Ludcuis

She nodded as the grooves come on and she had the most peaceful face as she waited for them to speak.

"Well speak! I am waiting here"

"We are not dogs" said Bella looking pissed off.

And can you stop smoking that crap this is not your house have you no respect!

Jade looked at her " fuck you bitch I do what I want the only respect I have is for myself I don't need a boy to hang of and fucked up family dynamited now pipe down the adults are talking.! Said J.D

Bella was so pissed of Edward took hold of her before there was a cat fight. The others were in between amused and annoyed.

Then J.D got a pair a sunglasses out and put on, and drunk her bottle of J.D smoking on a joint and danced as a tune come on and danced Ludicus how low can you go

Then just watch shocked as she seemed to be have a party of her own and then another song come on a tiny rubberband moby. She sat down and nodded to it. She was stoned and sang it drinking form the bottle now and then.

So granddad what's the rules she said to carlise"

Everyone stared fuck sake stop looking at me I asking questions so tell me so I can get out of here.

"okay you're a vampire stronger and faster, you're a new born now in about a years' time your strength will go a little, blood is needed for your health, you can feed on humans or like us animals.

And the rest you can figure out no human must know about us and the kings in Italy will kill to keep our secret.

"What the fuck animals! Little bambis you feed on the others looked worried she was upset and clearly pissed off, I was a vegan when I was human how could you kill little animals, she turned got her bag and went to the room she woke up in and slammed the door the others were shocked and worried. Esme said "well I don't think she going to be able to take to our lifestyle then if she does not what the animal diet.

Jasper just looked on and said I've had enough of this I'm taking her hunting and I and fed up with feeling week two new-born's in the last 20 years and both abnormal it's not normal for her to speak to us and do this grabbing his hair and running up the stairs. he was vex Alice looked on.

Jasper open the bedroom door and got hold of J.D and took her out hunting she was fighting the whole way, Alice followed as did Emmett and rose.

You can't treat me like this I am not yours and she was dragged to the forest.

Bella and Edward were waiting for them to get back carlise was working and esme was sorting out her room. Nessie and Jake were going to forks for a few weeks coz of the newborn.

As the sun began to rise they saw them coming back J.D seemed to be crying the others seemed to be looking at her as she was a time bomb jasper looked pissed off and Alice was trying to help him Emmett looked thoughtful and rose was amused.

J.D come storming in pissed of upset and run to her room and started listening to music cypress hill illusions.

They others come in Bella looked at them and asked what happened.

Rose come in and sat down as did the others, not only was she a vegan but bambi was her favourite childhood film, she also harbour a burning desire to be a vet for zoos etc in a nut shell she cried when she saw us eating the wildlife and tried to get us to stop, and she killed five eks and then buried them she been upset ever since.

She stayed in her room listening to music rap and hip hop trip hop and dance.

After a week of listening to her music and her smoking pot that made it look like a fire in her room you could just get high of the fumes. I don't smoke the reefer delight was playing

Esme came in to her room today Jade was wearing the same outfit dress that mily crycs was wearing in the music video 23, and dancing around with a bottle of jack.

Esme went to the window and opened it and saw on the dressing table three little urns, taking a few steps towards it J.D was in her face take another step cher and your die.

Just then all the vampires were in the room carlise at the front as jasper takle her knocking her in to the dressing table.

**Noo**! screamed j.d get of me fucker.

She got him of her and run to the urns nothing slip out as she grabbed them of the floor she got two and was looking around for the third which she saw in Edwards hand and walked out up to him and took it back

Never touch any of these again or you die. Bella growled as Edward had been threated and she had just walked away. Putting them on her bed as she lovely stroked them,

She purrer at the urns and this surprise them after a while she looked up and they were there still she huff and then gave a sigh gave way.

She looked down and grabbed her bag and took out a little folder and laid it on the bed where she sat taking another drink and lit up a smoke and turned to them

I will tell you the story of my life up to when you found me to get through this I need you not to interrupt me and there will be no questions or answer sessions afterwards I don't want your pity or your tears so don't. everyone just got seated and listened, she never looked at them.

My name is Jade Dawn Williams I am eighteen years old, my life has been harder than some and easy then others. I grew up in New Orleans I am of Cajun descent, but I don't believe in god, my parents were druggies. And when I was four did not have the money for drugs so they sold me to the dealer and I become a sex slave to them, when I was nine I was found by police when they raided the house after a tip of regarding there drugs and taking into the care system, I was fostered by a lovely couple who were trying to adopt me but the bitch got knocked up and told the s.w she wanted me gone so I went to another placement and this time the foster dad raped me I got knocked up my him when I was 12 and gave birth to early she died stillborn so she was creament I named her holly coz it was near Christmas and was moved to another placement he was a bastard I told my social worker and she moved me again attachment could not happen any where's I was fourteen and again raped I seen to also go to the foster rapists crap hey. I got knocked up again this time at 6 months I got badly beaten up and again went into labour Bailey lasted 2 weeks and died with a bleed on the brain. And he was cremated, I moved around a lot and drunk and smoked and was being raped and beaten a lot the drugs numbed it and it was a mellow high and the last year I got knocked up again it was my foster dad's or one of his friends anyways. About five months ago I gave birth to jack at seven months it was a hard labour and they had to an hysterectomy on me so I had jack and no other chance to have any other children but three is enough for anyone, anywhere about three months ago jack was doing well and was going to be able to come home but then he caught a bug form the hospital and died five days later, the day he was meant to come home mothers day. I cremated him and got his ashes last month, on my birthday I was raped and that night I runaway and that's when you found me, I was so happy I was going to die freedom at last and be with my babies and then I change to this. She looked up then and all the vampires in the room looked up and seemed to be trying hard not to show tears or pity.

For fucks sake I don't need pity look this pictures are my babies have a look the pictures were taken and looked at and all saw three little ones and each a photo foot print and hand print but jack one held a baby grow to. She took them back then and sat there looking at the urns, and got her bag and started to wrap them and put them back in their place in the bag. She zipped it. Looking up she saw rose and esme looking at her with pity and sorrow. I said I don't want your pity and I don't want to talk about this ever again.

She walked out then I going hunting. She run and fed no one with her after she cried over the deer she sat on a tree and closed her eyes.

Back at the house rose esme and the others were all in shock this girl had gone through too much already being sold as a child to being raped in foster care having three kids who died and moved on if she told, what the fuck was this no wonder she left and freedom in death, that's why she said thank you,. The other long since left each in their own thoughts but they would be nicer to her.

Jade was ready to go she needed to heal and to sort herself out. She walked back to the house she saw them all laughing and joking all paired up and happy she needed to leave she hated family times it was not right, she was a loner now and could not handle family things she felt like she stop them living she needed to go, move on try and live, as they herd her footsteps they turned to her and smiled but she just looked though went upstairs and she had done her cloth washing yesterday she had a shower and got dressed a pair of jeans a t-shirt and a hooded she got her bag and went downstairs, and as they looked up she went I need to go you got a life here I need to find one for my self so thanks for letting me crash time to move on she moved to the door just as rose come to. Looking I am going this time okay

Okay said rose what about money I can give you jade spoke over her when my baby died it was the hospital fault and awarded me some money my baby died and I was given 300,000 for his death that's what some shitte person though my baby was worth so I have money blood money,

See around people and she walked out the door.


End file.
